The Hubster and I were sitting at Wise Pies on a recent Sunday afternoon and it was so packed that day that there was not an open table, so we sat down at the last two available counter seats to eat our lunch. About half way through our pie, I’m startled out of my pizza-eating bliss by someone blowing her nose about 4 feet from my right elbow. You see, that last available seat just happened to be right next to a trash can, and apparently, that makes it an acceptable place to fill your snot rag before throwing it away. Shifting a sideways glance to my husband, I said, “Nice.”

I think where bodily fluids are concerned, personal space doubles when you’re eating. In fact, I’d even say it triples when I’m eating, and you’re a stranger. I’ve never understood people who have no qualms about blowing their nose when and where the fancy strikes them. I especially don’t understand it when they’re strangers, doing it in my personal space, while I’m eating.

Restaurant nose-blowing is ridiculously common, although I think it might have been even more common when men like my grandpa carried cloth handkerchiefs in their pockets. I won’t go down that road, except to say that maybe the only thing more gross than blowing your nose while people are trying to enjoy a meal is blowing your nose into a cloth that you then fold around your mucus, and carry around in your pocket. Would you like a snot pocket with your hot pocket? Yum-yum.

But restaurants aren’t the only places where it’s gross and rude to blow your nose. Let’s take church services, for instance. Sure if you’re having an emotional, spiritual experience, it’s okay to grab a tissue. We want to see a snotty face even less than we want to hear one. However, this sort of situation can be dealt with discreetly, rather than sounding like an angry elephant who has invaded the service. Notice that the bumper sticker you saw which read “Honk if you love Jesus” did not include the words “your nose” and “during prayer”. So, if you are just feeling for whatever reason that you need to clear those nostrils, please go to the restroom to do it. And don’t forget to wash up before you come back out just in time for the hand-shaking meet-and-greet time.

Then there’s Walmart. Oh wait, never mind. Anything goes at Wally World, not to mention the fact that it’s so loud the chances of anyone actually hearing you are pretty slim anyway. So blow to your heart’s content. And don’t stress about washing your hands—it’s not likely that you’ll add anything to the shopping cart handle that isn’t already there. You should not, however, take this to mean that it’s okay to honk your schnoz in any other store.

Especially do not blow your nose in the deli at Baesler’s. Some people consider Disney to be the happiest place on earth, but for me, that title might very well belong to the Baesler’s deli department. Do not whip your handkerchief out next to the hot wing bar, or blow your beak before blithely bagging a bagel. You are ruining an otherwise pleasant experience for your fellow shoppers, while simultaneously passing along whatever cold or bird flu you are obviously harboring to the next poor, unsuspecting sucker who makes the mistake of opening that bakery case.

Perhaps instead of making a dash for the deli, you might want to consider first visiting the nicely stocked pharmacy department— conveniently located on the opposite side of the store from the fresh produce and hot wings—for some snot-reducing meds.

You can do that right after you visit the restroom to blow your nose.